Like most of the times, I sat down with a pen and paper lost in thoughts and not a word penned down. Unlike other times, when I would usually give up, keep the paper and pen aside and go off to sleep, I took my phone and typed in Wikipedia ‘Marriage’. It says,
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity. When defined broadly, marriage is considered a cultural universal.
All the words Social, Ritual, Rights, Obligations and Culture danced in my front of my eyes in bold and highlighted fonts. I froze. It was the night before the wedding. I kept asking myself, “Am I ready”?
Like every other simple girl, I played marriage and house games with my dolls and doll house sets, and later marriage became part of my imagination. I would imagine how magical marriage would be and how exciting it would be to know and live life with the person you love. I had imagined my life partner and my next phase of life with utmost positivity and full of happiness but forgot to balance it up. As I grew up, the imaginary person took shape in reality and we spent a considerable amount of time together forgetting the charms of marriage. Our parents got together and decided to perform rituals socially to get us married. We were happy. Unfortunately, no one ever told me that nothing in life comes for free until I experienced that marriage is heavily taxed.
Ideally, for a beauty quotient, I should take a stress-free night long sleep to look good in pictures, but for the kind of person I have always been, I never cared about what people thought about me; what mattered more was my own happiness. Sounds selfish? Well, yes I am. I have learnt to love myself and I consider it an achievement.
I tip-toed across the room making sure my cousin Minty doesn’t get a hint of my escape and inaudibly picked up the car keys. I needed some fresh air and open sky to let my thought process breathe. Heading straight to my car, I drove away as fast as I could in an act of evasion. I had no clue where I was headed and for once in my life I did not want to set a safe destination. I kept driving through the quietness of the night, my and the car’s eyes being the only glowing elements shining in the pitch blackness. Almost after an hour and a half of driving straight, I turned my focus on the banks of the Ganges and the sound of the stream of water. Slowly, I pulled over and followed the dim lights across the road to the set of steps. Even through the sound of the stream of water, there was a strange harmony and tranquility that it felt like you could just sit down and achieve inner peace immediately. I sat down on the steps somewhat possessed by a blaze lit across the river.
Without losing my focus and a blink, I was deep down memory lane stalking those painful days which may be I swore to never look back at. Life gave me a second chance or should I reverse the sentence and say, I gave life a second chance and started looking at life from a new angle. That angle was called “compromises” by my devil side. The angel part told me, “Hey! Everyone has to do compromises to some extent. It’s okay.” She always advised me the same and I took it gladly, at least back then. I took a U turn from the gloomy neighborhood to the jovial gardens and automatically gained a smiled. All the struggle, tough times for shaping the relationship, times of ups and downs camouflages with the rainbow of happiness. This is what makes the whole of life, layers of happiness’s, some challenges, a touch of testing times, some failures and some successes. But there is no stopping to this life, if you choose to run away with the fear of vetoes or anxieties, then it is already half battle lost. “No! Life is short and there are lots of experiences to be faced. Tomorrow is the start of a new challenge and a new chapter of my life”, muttering these words in mind, I opened my eyes and witness the first light of dawn as if bestowing upon me all blessings and good wishes of the rising sun.
Clearing off my mind, I rise to head home fast before anyone gets aware of my absence. It is my big day and it is time for celebrations not apprehensions, I smiled timidly …